What Does It Mean to Be Yourself?

Observe happy individuals in your personal circle. What sets them apart from the rest? First and foremost, it’s their sense of inner harmony.

  • They confidently embrace their chosen roles in society.
  • Their attention mostly focuses on their present experiences and inspiring future.
  • They approach life with optimism, knowing what they want, believing in their capabilities, and possessing the knowledge to achieve their aspirations.

For them, life is akin to a rewarding game with constant progress and achievements. At the same time, external circumstances hold little power over them since happiness and inner peace are subjective feelings.

Now, let’s look at the people who are discontent with their lives.

  • They lack a sense of belonging and take little pleasure in their daily tasks.
  • Their focus is consumed by a regretful past or day-to-day stress and negative emotions.
  • They are often hesitant to envision the future, as their current actions or inaction may lead to trouble.

Their lives resemble a futile attempt to beat a slot machine. Despite the effort and resources they put in, they are ultimately destined to lose.

What Is Happiness?

Life satisfaction is indeed subjective, and it may seem logical to suggest that people should simply change their mindset and be happy.

However, it’s not just about our mindsets. In human society, much like in anthills or beehives, each individual has a distinct role to play. We are born with a predisposition towards certain activities, and if we don’t pursue them, we feel miserable. This is Mother Nature’s way of nudging us to follow our true calling.

She isn’t overly concerned with Jane or Joe’s individual successes. Instead, she wants our species to live forever through the continuous passing on of our genes, which requires the combined efforts of many individuals. Nature makes our brains reward us with feel-good chemicals when we embrace our unique talents and contribute to the thriving of our communities. If we stray, she blocks our ways with self-doubt, fear, low energy, or even illness.

In summary, happiness comes from pursuing our natural roles and receiving rewards from our own brains.

The challenge? Many people have not yet discovered their innate talents and predispositions, making it difficult to choose the right path in life.

How to Find Your Way In Life?

The right path in life is one that allows you to realize your best natural qualities.

We receive guidance on what to do during our childhood while reading fairy tales, myths, and legends. We are fascinated by the stories in which the main characters follow their true callings: Hercules accomplishes great feats, Cinderella finds love, Puss in Boots tests fate, and Gandalf the Wizard saves the world.

In fairy tales, the main characters always know what they want, choose pursuits that suit them, and act in ways that utilize their best abilities. This is called being yourself.

Children want to imitate such characters, and it is not by chance that they play as them.

At the same time, adults often teach children to be anything but themselves. Many grown-ups simply want their offspring to be convenient and useful. They want children to obey commands, not cause trouble, and show great results in anything they are taught, even if this goes against their natural predispositions.

Unsurprisingly, by adolescence, most children become utterly confused about their true identity. They have been trained for this for years.

What Does It Mean to Be Yourself?

Being yourself means believing in your values, recognizing your abilities, and putting them into practice. Additionally, it is important to identify which of your features are essential and which do not matter at all.

Let me give you an example. Eighteen-year-old Stacy refuses to spend time with her friends because she has acne on her face. She doesn’t even apply for a driver’s license, believing that the instructor will be disgusted just by looking at her.

In the world Stacy has built in her mind, acne defines her as a person. Her own desires and aspirations don’t matter, and she sincerely believes that she is not worthy of living a fulfilling life.

Imagine Frodo from The Lord of the Rings looking at himself and thinking, “I have a pimple on my nose, and now I can’t save Middle-earth. I’d rather stay at home.”

By rejecting our true callings, we not only hurt ourselves but also deprive the world of everything that we could bring to it if we believed in our worth.

How Do You Figure Out What Kind of Person You Are?

Your personality is determined by three powerful forces:

Firstly, there are behavioral patterns inherited from your distant ancestors. We will call them core personality archetypes. You have already learned about them after taking my quiz and finding out whether you are a Hunter, Giver, Explorer, or Keeper.

Your core personality archetype determines your purpose. People of each archetype want to do what they have predispositions for and are very afraid of everything that can prevent them from doing so.

Another force influencing you is your Leading Aspiration which defines the specific manner in which you aim to fulfill your purpose. It drives your ambitions, priorities, and methods for reaching goals and plays a crucial role in shaping your personality subtype.

The third force is your Life’s Narrative. Most people obtain it by copying others or trying to please someone important to them. Sometimes, it’s a hit, and sometimes, it’s a miss, but it’s essential to know that you can edit or even rewrite your life script.

Knowing your Core Personality Archetype, Subtype, and Life’s Narrative means that you understand yourself at the deepest level.

Important Questions

Now, your task is to find out how you view yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What do you focus on most of the time? On your past failures, the emotions of the day, or building a brighter future?

Don’t judge yourself. Just note that this is your life at the moment. If this state of affairs does not suit you, think about what you would like to pay attention to.

2. Can you list your qualities and skills which are undoubtedly beneficial to you and the world?

We are not talking about amazing talents that can turn the universe upside down. Just list what is considered valuable in your community.

3. What criteria do you use to evaluate yourself? Do they really define you as a person? Or is it just an opinion about what other people, most likely strangers, should think about you?

Keep in mind that none of us can read other people’s minds.

Do you attribute to others your thoughts about what they should think about you?

You can answer these questions in the comments below.

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