Givers

A core personality type

Givers are people whose life purpose is to love and support their family and friends.

They are the most common personality type among women, but male Givers are also abundant.

Primary Functions and Fears

Givers create emotional and social bonds between people. For them, feelings, relationships, and the well-being of their family and friends are their top priority. Their whole life revolves around love.

The ideal life of a Giver consists of a close-knit family, a lovely house, good friends, prosperity, peace, and comfort. All the loved ones in their life are healthy and happy, and Givers never stop working to achieve that.

They enjoy intimacy and tenderness and need a lot of attention from their significant others. Most Givers appreciate thoughtful gifts and signs of affection.

The worst-case scenario for this personality type is feeling unloved and unwanted. The very thought of being rejected terrifies them.

Favorite Stories

Givers enjoy everything related to romance, from passionate love affairs to travels around the world.

Givers like family sagas, heartwarming books and movies, tales of friendship, childhood, and animals, as well as inspirational stories and quotes.

If the plot revolves around personal relationships, mysteries are also one of their favorite genres. This is the only genre enjoyed by both Hunters and Givers; however, they perceive such stories differently. Hunters appreciate the excitement of the battle between good and evil, whereas Givers look for psychological nuances and clever observations.

Many Givers enjoy reading fairy tales, watching animated movies, and playing simple video games.

Psychological thrillers are also the perfect genre for Givers, especially female Givers. The worst thing that could happen to our ancestresses was an attack by males from another tribe. That is precisely the situation the bestsellers in this genre depict: a strong woman defeats a male predator who tries to kill or kidnap someone she cares for. Givers enjoy such stories because they allow them to grapple with their buried fears from a safe distance.

Givers’ Interests

Givers enjoy everything that promises love and approval from others, such as:

  • Romance, courtship, marriage, and weddings
  • Flirting and playful relationships that confirm the value, attractiveness, and sex appeal of the Giver
  • Children and pets
  • Beauty in all its artistic forms, from makeup to interior design
  • Health, rejuvenation, weight loss, and personal care
  • Housekeeping, cooking, and arts and crafts
  • Beautiful things and status symbols
  • Charity
  • Friendships and going out with friends
  • Parties, festivals, solemn events, and places to see and be seen at
  • Etiquette, rituals, and traditions
  • Personal and professional development, if the Giver believes it can benefit their family
  • Psychology as a way to build self-awareness and enhance relationships with others
  • Well-being in all senses of the word, from children’s education to relationship with God
  • Erotica and porno, but with an emphasis on emotions, seduction, and partner-pleasing techniques
  • Ways to protect oneself and one’s family

Motivations

The most important thing for Givers is to consider themselves worthy of love.

Some Givers believe this from a young age, as their parents always told them so; others, though, doubt themselves and therefore try to prove their worth at every step.

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A Giver wants to be desirable, admirable, and awe-inspiring. Think of Cinderella entering the ballroom: everyone, including the royal family, is struck by her beauty. This scene warms the hearts of almost all Givers.

Many people of this personality type dream about success not for themselves, but for their partners or children. For them, life is good when their beloved receives a long-awaited diploma, award, or promotion.

The desire to become an excellent parent, a cherished partner, or a valuable employee is the way to look good and enhance the Givers’ status. Like Hunters, Givers crave sympathetic judgment and the admiration of their audience.

Role Models

Givers enjoy characters in books or films who are attractive and desirable, and whose personal qualities include selflessness, loyalty, and awareness of their mistakes.

The ideal heroine for most Givers is a beautiful young woman, fragile but brave and strong-willed. If she finds herself in a difficult life situation, she will emerge honorably, acting for the good of her family, community, or someone who has suffered an injustice. In turn, she deserves love as her reward.

The ideal hero for Givers is a strong, brave man who takes responsibility for his loved ones. Others see him as a great authority figure.

If a Giver’s childhood was spent in an environment of aggression and devaluation, their ideal hero could be an abuser who intimidates others but “bows his head” before a worthy Giver. This is a fantasy about someone big and strong who eventually appreciates the beautiful soul of the Giver.

At all times, dictators and oppressors exploit this hidden need for their benefit, so Givers must keep this in mind.

Communication

Friendship and constant communication with like-minded people are central to Givers’ lives. While they sometimes need alone time, they find perpetual solitude unbearable. To avoid being alone for extended stretches of time, they get pets, volunteer, or spend hours on social media.

Givers appreciate partners who are reliable and able to support their families. To make a Giver content, it is essential to remember that symbols of happy relationships and warm feelings are vital for them. So, it’s best not to forget occasional gifts and romantic rituals.

In sexual relationships, Givers try to physically and emotionally please their partners. Many women of this personality type are fired up by the idea that their partners want them passionately. If they feel that way, everything else can fade into the background. They can even fake an orgasm in order to not break the moment’s magic.

If Givers were rejected as children, they would try to compensate for this rejection by demanding constant proof of love and fidelity from their partners. This is fraught with jealousy and attempts to control everyone and everything, followed by long bouts of sadness.

Most Givers enjoy spending time with children, especially very young children.

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Givers sometimes find it difficult to deal with their kids leaving the nest.

Many conflicts begin when children hit adolescence. The Giver parent wants to know and manage everything. They believe that the parents always know what’s best.

Their kids, however, seek independence and clearly defined boundaries. So, they fight back, and mutual rejection traumatizes both parties.

Problem Zones

The following scenario is commonplace: The Giver tries to help their partner, takes responsibility for the family, and then awaits gratitude and the same treatment in return. But this doesn’t happen because there’s no need for such sacrifices. If a Giver has a Hunter as a partner, this behavioral pattern almost always leads to a breakup since it goes against a Hunter’s life script.

The Giver who fails to build warm, loving relationships with their family turns into a demanding grumbler or goes to other extremes, such as senseless, humiliating self-sacrifice that no one had asked for or expected of them.

Complicated relationships between parents and children can result in an exhausting long-term showdown. There will often be arguments about who’s to blame for what, who’s ungrateful, and who didn’t love whom enough twenty years ago.

Many Givers are willing to sacrifice personal happiness by living in a broken marriage for years for the sake of their children. The very thought of tearing the family apart, which, for them, is the holiest of holies, seems blasphemous to Givers. So, because there is no trace of love, the most important ingredient in family life, they teach their children how to be unhappy and end up setting a bad example.

Sometimes, for Givers, appearance is more important than the essence. Many Givers fear being alone so strongly that they prefer to stay in a dead-end relationship.

Another common trap for this personality type is an excessive obsession with beauty and youth. This is especially true for cultures where men traditionally dominate women and where being a trophy wife is considered a great success. Some Givers spend a fortune on plastic surgery, fancy outfits, and expensive skincare products. But does it give them what they’re looking for?

While at work, Givers often chase the approval of their colleagues and superiors, work more than they have to, burn themselves out, and wait for gratitude that never comes.

To summarize, a Giver’s specific problem area is a personal boundary violation. Often, they don’t see that other personality types have different priorities and, therefore, different goals and motivations.

Mixed Types

Many people are a blend of personality types; usually, though, one is dominant. You can learn more about other core personality types by clicking the links below.

Do You Want to Know More About Yourself?

The Giver personality type has different subtypes depending on your driving force:

  • Founder
  • Diplomat
  • Ally
  • Romantic

Your driving force is like your secret weapon in the game of life. It's what stands out most in your character. When you meet new people, it's what you naturally express. It helps you solve problems and handle conflicts, and it shapes your actions and attitude toward the future.
But there's more to it! Your driving force also gives you the ability to influence other people, often without even trying.

Do you want to discover your driving force?

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